I'm curious to hear how other dads get hobby time out of the house. Nights like tonight, if I want to game or work on my own projects at home, I can--my wife works swing and my kids are in bed so I can get at it.
I'm trying to find ways to get those out of house hobbies done. Weekends are when I get to see my wife and kids the most so I find it really hard to leave to go do something just for myself. As a result, activities are things more like walks/hikes that the kids can handle, 2-3 miles of biking on mostly flat, etc; tame things the kids can keep up on.
Doing anything longer or that takes longer to get to like what would have been an easy day trip in the Before Children Era, feels almost impossible now. It's so much more work.
I know it's something I just need to get used to, I just really miss the ease of heading out for a couple hours instead of the now common sloth pace of bathroom breaks, getting everyone drinks and snacks, just trying to get OUT THE DOOR.
I know none of this is novel. I'm just...tired. Not in general, of parenting. I want and need a break from kids. I used to feel bad about that. I don't anymore because I know it let's me be a better dad. It's just so dang hard to get.
I don't know that I'm asking anything here. I'm happy to hear other dads' thoughts, though.
Time for yourself
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1. This is an inclusive space
2. Be kind
3. No nudity
4. No violence
5. These rules will evolve as the forum grows and changes
Re: Time for yourself
I can completely relate to this. Its a difficult feeling wanting to do something for yourself and wanting to spend time with your family all at the same time. Unfortunately I haven't really found a good solution to this. I can sometimes get like an hour or two if my wife and daughter are doing something themselves. We only have one so we like to have dedicated Mommy-daughter/Daddy-daughter days with her, so I can take that time to kind do my own thing. Its typically not very long, but a couple hours can go a long way 
Re: Time for yourself
Agreed, a couple hours really can. I like to whitewater raft and even being out on the really tame sections that I can take my kids on is wonderful for me. Where we are, the rivers have been to high so far this year due to snow pack to take the kids so that isn't happening yet.
I think I need to find some shorter/closer to home hobbies/activities that I can go do for like 60-90 minutes to get that refresh/me time.
I think I need to find some shorter/closer to home hobbies/activities that I can go do for like 60-90 minutes to get that refresh/me time.
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JoshStrummer
- Posts: 12
- Joined: 10 Jun 2023, 17:25
Re: Time for yourself
I've been having a hard time with this lately actually. Out of touch with most older friends, and even the few I've been in touch with it's inconsistent. I used to be the one that made things happen, and I've found that if I don't make it happen it doesn't happen.
It's just kind of impossible to be spontaneous with a little one. In order to keep ours home for now, my wife works 2 12hr days on the weekends. I work 4 10s, so we have 1 day off to do family things. Just me and my daughter on weekends. It's a big shift... your time off isn't really your time anymore. I love being a dad, but needing a few hours to myself here and there.
I used to be in bands and things, but that's a big investment of time that I don't have. There's a folk-jam that happens at the community center here a couple times a month, and I want to try that. Sounds like it's mostly fiddle tunes which can be a bit boring for guitar, but I'd take it. I miss playing music with people, and just doing social things.
It's just kind of impossible to be spontaneous with a little one. In order to keep ours home for now, my wife works 2 12hr days on the weekends. I work 4 10s, so we have 1 day off to do family things. Just me and my daughter on weekends. It's a big shift... your time off isn't really your time anymore. I love being a dad, but needing a few hours to myself here and there.
I used to be in bands and things, but that's a big investment of time that I don't have. There's a folk-jam that happens at the community center here a couple times a month, and I want to try that. Sounds like it's mostly fiddle tunes which can be a bit boring for guitar, but I'd take it. I miss playing music with people, and just doing social things.
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NiceyChappe
- Posts: 3
- Joined: 15 Jun 2023, 10:17
- Location: UK
Re: Time for yourself
Folk jam sounds pretty fun.
I don't manage to get time for at-home hobbies, let alone out of home. It seems to be the preserve of guys with do-everything wives or with lots of family help (we have MIL for a day or two every few months......).
I suspect there isn't a good answer except for setting up some sort of dad club where 5 of you look after 6 sets of kids, and one of you gets the week off. You know, if I had some friends nearby.
I don't manage to get time for at-home hobbies, let alone out of home. It seems to be the preserve of guys with do-everything wives or with lots of family help (we have MIL for a day or two every few months......).
I suspect there isn't a good answer except for setting up some sort of dad club where 5 of you look after 6 sets of kids, and one of you gets the week off. You know, if I had some friends nearby.